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Views From the Backseat: Colorism. "My Reality of it is. . ." Guest Blogger Author Tanisha

There have always been conversations about it. In the past, the conversations were whispered like they were a secret of some sort or hushed behind closed doors. But to those of us who it affected the most, there has never been a doubt that this is the case. Society has made it a point to portray “light” is right and “brown” is down. I remember when all the ladies wanted a light-skinned dude (thanks Al B. Sure) and all the fellas wanted a light-skinned girl (thanks Tisha Campbell-Martin). And for years, those of us who are brown have found it difficult to prove otherwise and that we are just as beautiful or handsome as our fairer skinned brothers and sisters, if not more.

To this day, I remember getting my own feelings hurt because I had the biggest crush on a deep chocolate brown skinned fella who only wanted this pretty light-skinned girl, like 95 going north. I contend that some people still feel the same way. Mostly men though, preferring that their woman be fair skinned but have a pretty brown girl on the side like a helping of brown sugar baked beans. Yeah, I said brown sugar baked beans. With the newest social media fad being recognized like Beard Game Matters and the amazing chocolate ensemble of Black Panther cast, “brown” is returning into the forefront. At least for the men anyway.

We all know, “light” does not necessarily mean that the object of affection is of a lighter tone of any specific race. It can include people of a different race or nationality. It doesn't necessarily mean that you don't "like" a certain type of person, it's just your preference. Don’t get me wrong. There is absolutely nothing wrong with having a preference in the type of man or woman you want to date. Most people are dating to find love and be loved in return. But men have more options than women when it comes to this topic. Men will date outside of their own race/nationality a lot easier than women can or will.

Dating is a challenge to the extent of causing a very uncomfortable silence between people. A man’s selection of women is almost boundless. A man can and will date women who are of every nationality if he chooses to do so. His selection of her is the basis of the initial relationship. A woman however is not as fortunate in her options. In the recent years, melanin blessed women have become a more focal point of interest for men. It can be contributed to different things including social media and the rise in brown skinned female celebrities. Even with this rise, we (brown skinned and beautiful women) still hear that saying, “You’re beautiful for a dark-skinned woman,” which is offensive by the way.

If you limit yourself to who you select, you will never know if you can find love in someone other than those who meet that prerequisite.

About the Author:

Tanisha N. Bowman is an accomplished author who has served her country in the United States Army. She currently works with the VA Healthcare System and is the mother of an empowered 17-year-old daughter.

Her motto is, “I’ve worked FOR people and I’ve had people work FOR me. What I’ve realized is that I’d rather work WITH you as a team as we accomplish more together.”

To learn more about Ms. Bowman, click here. To purchase one of her books, click here.

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